Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Covering up

Today I have been thinking about why other pastors allow spiritual abuse to continue. After my encounter last night with the person who is afraid there will be a backlash if he participates in an ecumenical prayer vigil, I was thinking about the fear that this man must live under. But isn't it God we are supposed to fear? I was disappointed in this man, I thought that he really did listen to god. Yet for years another pastor in town has been abusing people spiritually emotionally and has hit some of the kids. All of the other pastors know about it because they clean up his messes yet none of them have the balls to confront him. I have been there when they have talked behind his back. As far as I know I am one of the few who has ever confronted him. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE MEN? Do they really think God is going to bless their silence? How many more people are going to be hurt and come to these wieners for comfort. Maybe that's it, it gives them a chance to "help someone" and perhaps for one minute feel good about themselves. God Save me From Those who call themselves Your Shepherds.......

Monday, March 14, 2005

clear moral issue huh??

i have been a christian for over 20 years, most of that time in evangelical/charismatic churches. i was ordained and an associate pastor of a charismatic church, for about 6 years. i sometimes wonder why god had me do that, i wonder if it was god. yes i learned a lot mostly about what not to do.


i am ashamed to say that i spent many years keeping my mouth shut while people were being abused, i was afraid, i didn't know what to do. one day that ended. one day i found MY VOICE. i spoke out i was rejected but i spoke out. the hold on me was gone, the chains were broken, hallelujah i am free.

i am organizing an event commemorating the second anniversary of the war in iraq. i asked a number of local pastors to participate. one backed out today. said there could be too much backlash, he is an evangelical pastor and a friend. he said that he would never back down if this was a clear moral issue. i let him off the hook told him i didn't want anyone who didn't think killing was immoral. how can anyone say that kind of crap? what will the people think if he prays with a lutheran catholic or gasp a jew or muslim. god protect me from your people

Sunday, March 13, 2005

AAHHHHHHHHHH

I began visiting an Episcopal church a few months ago, I was going to an evangelical church and felt like an alien, couldn't relate to anyone. The pastor and his wife are old friends and after the abuse I endured as an associate pastor for 5 years it seemed a safe place for me. How do you relate to people who do not speak the same language, who are suspicious of everything you say.
so back to the Episcopal church and the whole point of this. I like it, I like the people, yet I've always been told they are "not saved" I really really like it though.

so what is saved is it being coerced into saying a prayer or is it walking out ones life listening for gods leading and following that lead?

when I was young I knew so much now I know nothing. nothing makes sense anymore.
blah blah blah

Saturday, March 05, 2005

remember the borg

am finding my voice after years of silence. years of oppression and fear i don't know where to begin, after 20 years of saying nothing, looking the other way, pretending like the emperor was wearing clothes
i often wonder how much longer it would have continued if bush hadn't been elected, if the war hadn't started, if christians didn't say hateful things about gays and democrats and anyone else who didn't play the game
i was screaming inside WHAT ABOUT JESUS? WHAT HAPPENED TO LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR? WHAT HAPPENED TO BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS? WHAT HAPPENED TO TAKE THE LOG OUT OF YOUR OWN EYE? WHY DOESN'T ANYONE SEE IT? then one day i spoke out loud...all of a sudden i was a heretic...needing salvation? i refused to be assimilated i refused to comply..removed from the collective.. freedom to hear gods voice

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